February 27, 2012
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I’m really sad
Last night I found out that all my best friends are moving away. Ashley and Robert are going back to Arkansas in early May to be with family, Jennifer is going to Georgia in a year for school, Nick is still bouncing all over the world and may move to Portland for an illustration job once he gets home in June. In essence, every single one of my friends will be out of the state (except Greg and Paige, but they live 60 miles away, which isn’t the kind of situation where you can say hey, wanna hang out? at the drop of a hat).
I don’t want to start over. I like my friends. I don’t want to meet new people, learn to trust them. It feels like losing a therapist in a way. It feels like being abandoned in other ways.
The fact that all 3 of them dumped this on me in the same night is devastating (although today it’s making me just as angry as sad).
I get that everyone has good reasons to go. But as I told Nick, I’m not ready to be happy for them yet; I need to feel sad for me first. (This is very much like what I have always said as a kid when someone tried to make up with me after a fight: “NO! I’m not done being mad yet!”)This sucks. I could barely get out of bed this morning, and that was after coming in to work 2 hours late. Last night I called my mom and just sobbed.
Comments (12)
meeting new, trustworthy people is really hard. i was always trying to look for new friends and the last girl that dated eric’s friend seemed really nice. i picked her up early a few days so we could hang by the pool. turned out that she was a 16 year old runaway. omg. wtf. and e’s friend was dating her. nut-so!
now that i think about it, i don’t have many friends. like one or two. i used to be really close with my sister but she has been m.i.a. since she left her boyfriend in december.
you’ll alway be my long distance friend!!
@teefahknee - Sorry that you understand (if that makes sense), but glad to have someone who does.
@sheshe143 - That’s a crazy example of why people are hard to trust and get to know. Wow. At least we’ll always have each other, the 2 Shellys!
Like sheshe143, I no longer have a vast multitude of friends. In fact, if I look back at my high school and college years and after, many of them are superficial. I think I lessened those connections even more because I got tired of them NOT being trustworthy, not offering me the same compassion and energy I offered them, etc. I felt worn thin. The few I have no longer live near me, which sucks, but they’re also the ones i can call at 3am just because I needed a friend. No emergency, no explanations, just hey I needed to talk to you.
@teefahknee - Yes, yes, yes. It’s true that with a couple of them, I have to do all of the work to make get-togethers happen. It’s totally one-sided and I am tired of it.
That is sad news, and I’m sorry to hear it.
One of the most common complaints I hear from my old college friends (who, for the most part, moved away after graduation) is that they struggle to make new friends.
William is also having a hard time meeting friends, and it’s something he talks about a lot. He started inviting coworkers over for craft night about once a month, and he also started taking a pottery class. In my opinion, a lot of his efforts are one-sided, but I don’t know how he feels about it.
Anyway, I empathize.
Take the time you need to feel mad/sad.
@JadedPoser - Not too far – 20-30 minutes.
it sucks so bad I know, all of my BFFs left for other states too:(
*Hugs*
Sucks. And you have every right to be sad. Sure, your friends aren’t obligated to stay – they have wonderful things happening in their own lives. But you have such an awesome group of friends, it’s hard to lose. They’re your family, and in a lot of ways, they help define who you are.
I feel your pain. But also know that you’re young, you’re pretty cool, and eventually new friends will surface again in your life. Until then, you’ve still got your long-distance friends. Love you.
@OneBadMother - Thanks. I know I should evolve into just being happy for them, but I’m so not there yet. I really am grateful for my Xanga buddies though.