June 21, 2012
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Life changes
- I’m veeeery cautiously checking out the internet dating scene. Part of me feels SO not ready, and the other part of me is lonely and wants a friend and eventually more. I keep going back and forth between searching for men and searching for women. Sometimes it’s hard to know what I’m looking for. Just…a person I like. Sex or gender doesn’t matter to me. So far the results have been laughable, and I’m sure I’ll post about it soon.
- I get lots of compliments on my music tattoo, which I love. Even Jen really likes it, and she has TONS of tattoos that are really cool, so I feel all accepted and approved.
- Money has been on my mind a lot. I barely make it each month, and I will need a new car in the future (we’re talking soon), plus I’m worried about paying off student loans when I graduate. I’m trying to make lifestyle changes that will cut down on my expenses, especially eating out.
- One of my summer classes is done in a week. Unbelievable! It went by so fast. Then I can crack down on my other (feminist blogging) class and have a few weeks in the summer to just be.
- I’m looking for a woman-centered, “feminist” way to start some weight loss. I would like to go somewhere where I can meet with other people struggling with weight issues (and the problems underlying that) and we get some sort of education and motivation together, maybe even with a section of the session reserved for exercising together. I’m not talking about Weight Watchers, meal replacements, number-on-the-scale-motivated bullshit. Any recommendations?
- I’m doing job searches pretty frequently, just to see what’s out there. From what I can tell, I’m damn lucky to have a job that pays what it does (even though I’m underpaid and struggling). Everything advertised wants you to have advanced degrees and pay you $10-12/hr. No thanks. Unfortunately non-profits are even worse, and that’s the type of place I’d like to work, doing something to help women.
- I’ve been doing apartment searches too, because of the money thing. My lease isn’t up until November anyway, and I *so* don’t want to move, but I’m leaving it open as a possibility. At the end of the year I graduate, and my lease is up, and soon after that I start paying loans (unless I can defer), so I have to leave room for the possibility of changing jobs or apartments or even cities.
Lots of big life-changing stuff, and it’s terrifying and stressful and yet oddly compelling. Deep breaths…
P.S. I keep looking into all these different things, and then I realize my self-confidence is the lowest it’s ever been, and I feel all hopeless. Then the cycle repeats.
Comments (5)
I’ve never heard of a weight loss program like that, but spark people.com has great ways to start healthier living. They also have local chapters, so you might be able to start your own program. I know that once you begin feeling healthier, a lot of other things fall into place.
@Mom_with_a_Chainsaw - Thanks, I’ll check that out. You would think somebody would have come up with a woman-centered, woman-positive approach to weight loss and healthy bodies, but it’s all centered on the numbers on the scale and what shape your ass is.
I believe that most “programs” are scams and crutches. I hated the idea of weight loss being merely a means to an end, and having to stick with a specific eating program. The best thing I learned was nutrition and portion control. There are so many sources online for that, and I’m really glad that I don’t care about the numbers. It’s all about how I feel, how my clothes fit. The scale is merely a tool to keep it all in check.
Anyone sort of changes just freak me out. I have been in my new place for a week and I am going crazy. My morning routine is different. The couches aren’t facing the same way and it drives me nuts. Good luck with moving, etc., even though it’s not until the end of the year, which is approaching too damn fast.
I really like your tattoo! I am a “girl” and I am scared to get another one. I have a robot on my right back shoulder blade.
Even when people graduate, they seem to make about $10-$15 an hour, which is totally not fair. You spend so much time in school to make more and you still have to start and work your way up. Well unless you become a heart surgeon. My boyfriend, Eric, just graduated for culinary management and when he gets a job, I know he isn’t going to be making no Bobby Flay bucks. It’s all a challenge. We only get one chance to do life and it makes me sad. It makes me sad that we can’t chill and watch stupid movies and actually know each other. I do feel like I know you through your words. If that makes any sense?
I have many grudges with life, in general.
Glad to see you posted. Hope you have a good weekend.
@Mom_with_a_Chainsaw - What you’re saying really rings true. I think I’ll have to follow the Mama Chainsaw method.
@sheshe143 - Yeah I get what you mean. I’ve got 10+ years of work experience though, so I’m worth more than what they are offering, plus I’ll have a degree. It sucks.
Bring a good friend or support person with you, take 4 Ibuprofen before you go, and treat yourself to ice cream after. That’s the best way to get through the tattoo experience. What were you thinking of getting, and where on your body?
It *would* be nice to just get to hang out some time.