• Java assignment #4C, due Tuesday night (DONE, omgthankyou Jeff)
• Java assignment #5, due Thursday night (decided not to do it)
• optional Structured Problem Solving in Information Systems final, scheduled for Saturday at 9am (decided not to do it)
• "Vendido" essay for Brown-on-Brown, due Sunday (DONE)
• Junot Diaz comparison essay, due Sunday (DONE)
• Secretly agonize until final grades are released (not gonna do it!)

I had a pretty ok (but extremely busy) weekend, which I will post about later. But today all the running around and stress from finals (this week...oh god...) and family and work, etc., is all catching up to me. I feel like crap and am staying home. It sucks because I have big stuff to do at work, several projects to complete for school, and my house is a mess. I'd love to accomplish something since I'll be at home today, but I'm just not feeling well enough. In fact, typing this has made my head spin, so I'm crawling back to bed now.

Sigh.

Stolen from teefahknee.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Yes

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? No. It's terrifying with my eyes open, and yet I can't help it.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding? A couple of winters ago.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? ALONE.

5. Do you believe in ghosts? I don't think so, but have always been a little iffy because of some personal experiences and old family stories.

6. Do you consider yourself creative? In a nontraditional sense, yes.

7.
Do you think O.J. killed his wife? Duh. If it wasn't obvious enough already, there was that little book he wrote called "IF I Did It". What a fuckface.

8. Jennifer Aniston
or Angelina Jolie? Angelina Jolie. She is cooler, prettier, and does amazing things for charity both at home and abroad. Plus Jennifer Aniston's face totally grosses me out. Ew.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about
politics? More than I'd care to know.

10. Do you know how to play poker? Yes, but poorly. I've always found it really, really boring, and I think people who gamble while they play are really, really dumb.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Yes. Longer than that. Thanks, meth.

12.
What's your favorite commercial? I rarely enjoy commercials. But I can tell you which ones are my least favorite: Burger King. First it's stupid girls giggling and oohing and ahhhing over those mini burgers, and then it's using Spongebob Squarepants and the rap video format (slutty girls doing slutty dances) to try to sell food that is bad for you to children. Fuck BK. Their commercials have been decidedly anti-women lately and I'm sick of it.

13. Who was your first love? So not in the mood to talk about love.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light? I have complete faith that I will get caught if I do. So no.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Yes.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? I really don't give a flying fuck.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? Maybe once like 20 years ago or something. I've never been good at skating. (Why the HELL is ice skating capitalized, btw? Is it suddenly a proper noun?)

18. How often do you remember your dreams? About half the time, maybe a bit more.

19.
What's the one thing on your mind? I have cramps, I'm cranky, I'm tired, my left eye is itchy and watery, my stomach hurts, I'm worried about school, I'm worried about friends, I'm worried about work, I'm dreading Mother's Day, and I just can't wait to get a good night's rest and run away for the weekend.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt? Rarely.

21. What talent do you wish you had? I'd love to play guitar, draw, and dance.

22. Do you like Sushi? Never tried it, but I'm thinking it's not going to be one of my favorite foods.

23. What do you wear to bed? Nada.

24.
Do you truly hate anyone? It's too exhausting to keep it up for very long.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who
would it be? Ugh. I don't like people because they are famous, and I certainly wouldn't want to sleep with them because of their fame. That would make me no better than those horrible women on Rock of Love. *shudder*  (Now if we happened to meet and hit it off, then that's a different story. I wouldn't kick Rob Pattinson out of bed.)

26. Do you know anyone in jail? No.

27.
What food do you find disgusting? I grew up eating fairly bland midwestern food. There are a lot of foods I find disgusting, but I'm slowly expanding my culinary horizons. I've got to say that most seafood, especially shellfish, makes me heave though. Oh and most condiments.

28. Have you ever made fun of your
friends behind their backs? Totally. Usually it's not mean-spirited though.

29. Have you ever
been punched in the face? Yes.

30. Do you
believe in angels and demons? No, since the whole religion thing is not my cup of tea. I also don't like the idea of good vs. evil, as though anything could ever be that black and white.

Game Rules:
List 5 of your oddest habits. Tag 5 people to do the same. Feel like a dumbass for participating, but do it anyway because you are bored.

1. Whenever I hear a word I like, I repeat it over and over in my head, then extract the vowels and "multiply them" by other vowels until I have a complete set of A, E, I, O U, and Y. I do this all day long.
2. I will go out of my way to shop at a grocery store across town if I am having an ugly day and don't want to meet anyone I might know. Also, going to the grocery store gives me an almost-instant panic attack.
3. I get dry heaves if I have to touch that little plug of hard lotion that builds up in the lotion dispenser.
4. I buy shoes obsessively (last year I gave away something like 35 pairs, and I still have TONS), but I hate wearing them and kick them off whenever possible (under my desk at work, the second I get home, etc.). I really hate wearing socks.
5. When I use scissors, my mouth moves up and down. I don't mean to, but I can't help it, and (supposedly) it looks ridiculous.

I tag you:
BearVsUnicorn, teefahknee, Drawy_McIllustrator, Mom_with_a_Chainsaw, PretendPrincess

P.S. Happy Cinco de Mayo.

Saturday

• It was very chilly, gray, and rainy.
• I took my Java exam, and I'm cautiously optimistic. I was stumped a couple of times, but I came back to those parts and was able to complete everything, and only went 15 minutes over my time limit (which is a big deal, considering the last exam I was like 30-40 minutes over). The important thing is that I studied hard and did the best I could. There is another final exam in a couple weeks if I choose to take it (the prof will throw out the lowest exam score, so it's possible I could end up with a decent grade in this class after all).
• I got to spend some time with Ron (which is good, because he is going to move to Texas at the end of the month). My friends are dropping like flies, and it feels like I'm going to be all alone soon.
• Ron and I drove to FoCo to meet up with some friends and see Wolverine. I thought it was really good; Ron thought it was too violent. Ooh and we had yummy fish tacos before the movie. I LOVE fish tacos. It's weird because I was never a fish person before and now I like most of it. Hawaii will do that to a person.
• After the movie we went to my grandmother's house on the way back home. We got to see a 15-minute old baby heifer just beginning to nurse her (very cranky and irritated) mother. The mother hadn't even gotten rid of the afterbirth yet, and the baby still had the umbilical cord hanging out. It was pretty incredible.
• My grandma fed us and sent us home with a bunch of food, and then we just chatted for the rest of the drive home.
• I went to bed early and got a good night's sleep.

Sunday

• I woke up too early so I took my meds and went back to bed, and was able to sleep in until 8:30. It's sad to me that 8:30 now constitutes "sleeping late".
• I had some breakfast, and have pretty much been online since I got up.
• I'm supposed to be writing a journal entry for my Chicana/o Literature class, because it's due today, but I can't get into my school's website. There is something really wrong with it, and I'm mildly stressed/annoyed because if I can't submit it today, I'll get a zero. I would just email the journal entry to my teacher, but the stuff I need to read is on the website. UGH.
• A few minutes ago, I sent out an invitation to some friends for a Memorial Day potluck/BBQ I'll be having on my roof on the 24th. I'm excited, because last year's party was really fun.
• I think that's all. I guess I'll go watch a movie and try to log back in to my class after that.

I am seriously *this* close to a meltdown.

Can this Java stuff just GO AWAY now?!? My exam is scheduled for Saturday at 9am, and I just want it to be the fuck over. I'm studying really hard, but I don't think it will be enough (is it ever, for me and my stupidly high standards?).

Now my cat is pissing me off and my allergies are kicking my ass and I can feel a manic swing coming on (maybe complete with a mini panic attack - Becky just told me she was having one, so is it contagious or something?), and Ron decided to go to Texas after all and I'm starting to feel sad about it, and can't I just take a vacation, even if it's to go stay with my grandmother in the country and be away from it all, or at least just BE?

This swine flu thing is getting ridiculous. We have 2 cases reported now in Colorado, and people are just FREAKING. You know what? Stuff it, you sheep-like overreactors. It's THE FLU. You will probably live if you get it, unless you are really young, really old, really sickly, or really living in a third-world country where your odds aren't so great anyway. We somehow managed to survive the oh-so-dangerous SARS, and avian flu, and even those giant killer bees from Africa. Maybe, just maybe, the media is manipulating you to distract you from the real problems in this world. Or maybe you are a tool who really does think the sky is falling. Chicken fucking little.

I think my rant is about over. Maybe I'll be able to read long enough for my heart to stop racing and my meds to kick in, and I can finally get a decent night's sleep.

P.S. I have an insane urge to get tattooed, and I know the one I want. But I have to run it by some people first to make sure I'm not a complete idiot who is going to end up with some cliche tramp stamp.

P.P.S. Instant heartburn from the anxiety. FML.

My cousin Michael's wife Amber gave birth to six pound, two ounce Ashlyn Rose at 2am today.

I can't wait to share some photos (as soon as I get them)!

I'm home sick today, but to be honest, I think I'm kind of hiding from the world rather than really sick. We all need a day like that once in awhile, but I do feel a bit guilty, which in turn makes me feel actually sick. Sigh.

Can May just be OVER now?

I'm not feeling well, and I'm lethargic and moody, and I just don't want to fucking be here. I'm depressed, I think. I was afraid it would happen eventually, because I was able to skip out on it this January/February, and usually I get it BAD that time of year.

Also, the thought of this huge upcoming exam for my CIS class makes me sick to my stomach. I'll be lucky to get a C in this class. I've never had a C in my life, and even Bs have been extremely few and far between.

I worry about the situation with Ron being sick and him trying to decide between staying here or moving to Texas to let his family help take care of him. While I don't want him to go, I think going is best for him and his health. He's leaning towards staying here though, which also worries me because I just can't take care of him, and shouldn't have to. That's what family is for.

Everything looks ugly and dull today. I need a vacation.

Wtf. We hardly got any snow during...you know...WINTER, and now we are getting all this snow in spring. Goddamnit, Colorado.