I never thought I would say it, but Xanga is just plain BORING compared to Facebook. Sure, I don't do any deep self-examination or talk about my real feelings on Facebook, but hey! There's Scrabble! And quizzes! And games where I get to grow my very own (digital) farm!
Ugh.
I can hardly even force myself to sign on to Xanga anymore, even though I'm sure the writing is good for me. Or maybe I'm just trying to push it when I don't really need to. I don't know. It would be nice to know what I should and shouldn't be doing, to have someone guide me when my own feelings and emotions are too muddled to see clearly. That sounds like a religious thing, but it so isn't.
Speaking of, I'm reading The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. It's actually really fascinating, and reads kind of like a really long series of blog entries. The style is similar to David Sedaris, I think, except this guy does "immersion" writing where he throws himself into what he is writing about so he can speak from personal experience. His other projects include reading the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica, A to Z (The Know-It-All), and more recently, experimenting with a variety of radical lifestyles (The Guinea Pig Diaries). I totally love this guy.
I'm psyched about my spring 2010 classes, btw: Myth, Symbol & Illusion, and Women of Color. It's a good thing I'm looking forward to them, because they are both required for my major or minor.
Hmm, what else? I've been communicating with a South African (former) teacher to add some depth to my research paper on Barriers to Education for South African Girls. There's nothing like getting firsthand perspective.
Also, in addition to 8 unpaid furlough days at work and no raise (even for cost of living) for the 3rd year in a row, we will also be required to submit more to our retirement plans in order to bail out the program. I just know that I'll be paying for the fucking baby boomers to retire, and when it's time for me, there won't be a cent left to live on.
Is anyone following the health care reform hullabaloo? Women are getting royally fucked by this plan. It's like they are so desperate to pass SOME plan, ANY plan, that they will pass the WRONG plan, the kind of plan that takes women back almost 40 years. Why are our reproductive rights (and health) always so expendable to lawmakers? It's sickening, and I'm angry.
I'm not sure what I'm doing for Thanksgiving. Part of me wants to say, "fuck it!" and just do something without my family. I just want to ditch both sides, not deal with stressful and depressing family bullshit, and do something more relaxing and fun. I think I would feel bad and get guilt trips if I did that, but I really am tired of "colorful" holidays, or holidays when I am shuttling back and forth from one family to another so that I can fulfill the obligation of seeing everyone. Then again, I don't have anywhere else to go on Thanksgiving, and I would hate to be alone, sad, and with no turkey or pie (oh, the horrors!).
My therapist apparently had some major illness that put her in the hospital, meaning she had to cancel our last appointment and I won't be seeing her again before she retires. Maybe it's better, not having that emotional goodbye session, but I miss her a lot, and I hope she will be ok. My first appointment with the new woman is this coming Monday. I thought I would feel cool and blasé, but I'm starting to get nervous. I know I don't have to be, though. Breathe.
I can't wait until next Friday the 20th. New Moon is FINALLY hitting theaters (you bet your ass I have my advance tickets, Becky), and then my 9-day vacation kicks off. It's a staycation, actually. I'll be cleaning closets, heading to the Container Store, and getting organized. I want the kinds of closets that you see in those "amazing closet organizer!" commercials, where everything has a place and it looks perfect. I'm finding myself getting more anal about stuff like that as I get older. I also find that I feel more at ease and happy when things are clean and organized. It's better for my mental state than disorganization and chaos, anyway.
I've been fairly happy, or at least okay, for awhile now. I started taking St. John's Wort, and I think it's helped perk me up a bit. I'm also taking a Bach's Essences flower therapy (Google it). I started it for my alternative medicine class, and am going to finish the bottle. It's supposed to address the mental problems that cause physical illness, including anxiety, low self-esteem, the inability to let go of past events, putting too much pressure on yourself, the inability to deal with change, etc. It may seem a bit foofy or whatever, but after having had my life, I'm not turning down anything that will make me happier and healthier.
For now, I think that's it. Thanks for reading this random hodgepodge of disconnected thoughts. 
Oh, wait. P.S. It's finally happened. My friend Jennifer and I (who share a cubicle 40 hours a week and hang out on certain nights and weekends too) now have the same menstrual cycle. Wtf. She asked me for a tampon today, and then an hour later, I started my period. UGH.
Recent Comments