June 11, 2009

  • This Seems Pointless

    Xanga seems kind of pointless these days. I know in some ways I'm just avoiding it so I don't have to delve deeply into anything, but I've also been super busy with work and trying to have a social life, and I just haven't had time.

    I will say that I have a super intense crush on a married guy at work (he has twin girls, too). Ugh. He's so fucking beautiful it hurts. He's tall and solid and manly and has a great ass, his voice is deep, he's ex-military (but not in a brainwashed sort of way at all), he's traveled all over the world, he's funny, he's sensitive (he called me at home after Ron moved, just wanting to make sure I would be ok because he knew it would be a rough day), he comes by my desk multiple times a day to chill, talk shit, etc., he argues with me (omg I love that), he sends me funny emails, he always wants to high five or pound fists or something else lame which means I touch him all the time, and it's just FUCKING AWFUL. I like him so much it tears me up inside sometimes. And it's so not like that with us at all. He's married, and I'd never want to go there. We're friends, you know? But he's the kind of friend I fantasize about and who can turn my insides into knots just by looking at him or hearing his voice. Crushes are the worst thing ever.

    In other news, I have some cell phone pics to post, so here we go.

    111
    My new cousin (second cousin, I guess, but whatever) Ashlin Rose.

    222
    Ashlin with mom Amber and dad Michael.

    TILLY!
    11

    44

    88

    And...
    99
    My dad's dog T-Bone. Aw.

    333
    Me, being a photo whore.

    66

    22
    My face is SO asymmetrical. Oh my god.

    8
    Under eye bags + weird lighting = looking like I got punched in the face.

    2
    It would have been a cute-ish picture, except it's blurry. Oh well. Now it's fodder for the Xanga machine.

    9
    My personal favorite. I was not sunburned whatsoever, but for some reason my face is fucking PINK in this picture. Probably because of Nick's oddly neon (but awesome) orange sunglasses..

    4
    Indoor football team: the OMAHA BEEF. They have an all-male dance team called The Rumproasters. True fucking story. Bahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

    7
    Best...shoes...ever. They're gold, they're bedazzled, they're being worn by someone with cankles, AND they're orthopedic! Amazing!!!

Comments (5)

  • I love the name Ashlin Rose!  The crush sounds very painful. Perhaps it would pass if you actually engaged with him about his kids and wife. Kinda like a self-limiting tool? Maybe? I'm grasping. And Omaha Beef???? How freakin' fun! haha

  • No offense, but how OLD are your cousins?!?  They look like babies themselves!!

    Those shoes are freakin' awesome.  You should've stole one, hahahaha!!

  • xanga does seem pointless. i guess i don't really have much to say these days. i have so much inside me that no one evens knows. i am such a coward sometimes.

    i hate crushes as well. especially one married guys.

    nice photos. i always love all of your cellphone pictures.

  • @EmpressTangent - I do engage with his kids, but it doesn't seem to help. I was hoping to meet his wife at a softball game we both went to, but she didn't show. Maybe next time? UGH.

    @PretendPrincess - They are 19 and 21, I think. Very young, but they are married and own their own (clean) home and have jobs, so I can't say shit, you know? They also seem to be very capable, and loving parents.

    @sheshe143 - So true. We can't convey everything that we really think and do and ARE on something like an online journal. Thanks about the pics.

  • ugh, sorry to hear about your crush. i hate crushes too... always end up getting, well, crushed. hopefully it'll pass.

    cute cat :D

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