Just seeing that there were people who commented on my last entry made me feel a lot better. I had sort of wondered if everyone would have unsubscribed from me by now or something. And just so you know, I've missed all of you too.
So first, about the being sick thing:
I've never been sick like that in all my life. It cost me thousands of dollars in lost work time and co-pays, and even after over 2 months, I still don't feel good. I had multiple (incredibly painful) recurring ear infections, sinus infections and bronchitis, and went through a zillion rounds of all kinds of medications to no avail. A couple of weeks ago I finally got in with a head/neck specialist (aka ear/nose/throat). They determined that:
- I had some hearing loss from the ear infections (which has since cleared up).
- I have a deviated septum.
- I have a polyp growing in my nose (due to lifelong allergies) which is blocking part of my nasal passage.
- I have acid reflux which is contributing to the sinus problems.
The plans:
- Aggressive treatment with medication (6 pills of heavy-duty antibiotics a day for 3 weeks, nightly sinus rinses (the neti pot thing...ew), nasal spray 2x/day, steroids to open the nasal passages, plus Mucinex and the real Sudafed when needed), a cool mist humidifier at night, sleeping at a 30 degree angle for easier drainage (again, ew), avoiding spicy foods, dairy, etc.
- I have a CT scan on Monday to assess the situation in my sinuses and determine if I will need surgery to correct my deviated septum and remove the polyp.
- I also am getting a full allergy test next Wednesday to determine if I have any new allergies, etc.
I'll keep you guys posted, especially if I have to have surgery. It sounds awful, but I'm willing to do just about ANYTHING to feel better again. I can't remember the last time I woke up and didn't feel dry-mouthy, eye-watery, sore-throaty, stuffed nosey, coughy, achey, upset stomachey, and sleepy from same.
About therapy:
I'm feeling very helpless in life, and like there isn't much going on that I can control. I'm sick and I can't control that. Work is crazy because of the budget cuts, bad economy, furlough days, extra work for less pay, etc., and I can't control that. I'm in the middle of some extra-challenging midterms and I can't control that. I *can* control how I spend my time, to an extent, and since therapy feels more like a burden (the money, having to leave work early, leaving the appointment feeling wrecked all the time) than something helpful, I'm going to take a break. Things are also up in the air with my therapist. She may be moving to a different clinic or she may not, but the only days she is available at a time that really works for me are the days I have my class on campus. I may just wait it out until the end of the semester and go back. I don't feel the same rapport with her as I did with my other therapist, but I do feel like I've accomplished more with her than my other one. We'll see what happens in a few months.
About friends:
I know I never filled anybody in completely on what happened with me and my group of friends basically dissolving, so I'll post about that soon. I've been avoiding it for a long time because it hurts a lot. I know that I need to get it out, though. It will help me finish grieving and move on. I have other friends that I really love though, so I'm doing ok. Nick has always been there, and now I have Jennifer and Ashley and Robert, and Greg and Paige, plus some other cool people that I like but don't get to see as often, like Jeff (the good one), Erik, Markus, etc. Count 'em! That's 9 people, and only 5 are gay, which in the world of me is pretty incredible.
I think that's all I've got in me for today. It's time to pack up, go home, and work like crazy on my midterm for my Myth, Symbol & Allusion class. Btw, here's the assignment (I bolded the topics I chose). Difficult as fuck, n'est-ce pas?
Myth, Symbol, and Allusion
ENG 3440, Sec. 004
Midterm Exam, due March 3
Notice: Your exam must be submitted in two formats: A
paper copy is due in class, and an electronic copy must be submitted to SafeAssign. Your exam will not be graded unless it is
submitted in both formats.
Part 1 (40%)
Choose two
passages by two different authors from the ten below. In 300 to 400 words (1 page), explore the
relationship the passage has to the purposes, practices, and origins of
myth. Concentrate on the specific contributions
each author makes to the understanding of the meanings of individual myths, and
the machinery of mythological functions.
It is not necessary for you to reproduce the arguments discussed in
class. Try to consider the works with
freshness and imagination while building defensible interpretations. Feel free to expand the selections within the
scope of the individual work. Refer to
Aeschylus by play and line number. Refer
to Jung and Vico by paragraph number.
Part 1 requires two separate responses.
1. No slave’s death,
I think—
no stealthier than the death he dealt
our house and the offspring of our loins,
Iphigeneia, girl
of tears.
Act for act, wound for wound!
Never exult in Hades, swordsman,
here you are repaid.
By the sword
you did your work and by the sword you die.
–Agamemnon,
1551-8
2. You, you younger
gods! —you have ridden down
the ancient laws,
wrenched them from my grasp—
and I robbed of my birthright, suffering, great with wrath,
I loose my poison
over the soil, aieee! —
–The
Eumenides, 792-5
3. But how do we
assign meaning? The forms we use for
assigning meaning are historical categories that reach back into the mists of
time—a fact we do not take sufficiently into account. Interpretations make use of certain
linguistic matrices that are themselves derived from primordial images. From whatever side we approach this question,
everywhere we find ourselves confronted with the history of language, with
images and motifs that lead straight back to the primitive wonder-world.
–The
Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, 67
4. Again and again I
encounter the mistaken notion that an archetype is determined in regard to its
content, in other words that it is a kind of unconscious idea (if such an
expression be admissible). It is
necessary to point out once more that archetypes are not determined as regards
their content, but only as regards their form and then only to a very limited
degree. A primordial image is determined
as to its content only when it has become conscious and is therefore filled out
with the material of conscious experience.
–The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, 155
5. The archetype is
really far less a scientific problem than an urgent question of psychic
hygiene. Even if all proofs of the
existence of archetypes were lacking, and all the clever people in the world
succeeded in convincing us that such a thing could not possibly exist, we would
have to invent them forthwith in order to keep our highest and most important
values from disappearing into the unconscious.
For when these fall into the unconscious the whole elemental force of
the original experience is lost.
–The
Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, 173
6. Thus, the living
effect of myth is experienced when a higher consciousness, rejoicing in its
freedom and independence, is confronted by the autonomy of a mythological
figure and yet cannot flee from its fascination, but must pay tribute to the
overwhelming impression. The figure
works, because secretly it participates in the observer’s psyche and appears as
its reflection, though it is not recognized as such.
–The
Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, 484
7. As for the
principle of marriage, some believe that, when free men and women engage in
sexual relations without solemn matrimony, as sometimes happens in fact, they
commit no wrong under the law of nature.
But all the nations of the world reprove this opinion as false by their
civilized customs. On the basis of these
customs, they all celebrate marriage religiously, and thus define illicit
relations as bestial sin, if in a minor degree.
–New
Science, 336
8. In their robust
ignorance, the earliest people could create only by using their imagination,
which was grossly physical. Yet this
very physicality made their creation wonderfully sublime, and this sublimity
was so great and powerful that it excited their imaginations to ecstasy. By virtue of this imaginative creation, they
were called poets, which in Greek means creators.
–New
Science, 376
9. In northern Asia,
we have already seen how the Scythian king Idanthyrsus used five physical
objects as words to reply to Darius the Great, who had declared war on
him. […]
The five objects were a frog, a mouse, a bird, a plough, and a bow.
–New
Science, 435
10. In this manner,
the first theological poets invented the first divine myth, which was the
greatest myth ever invented: Jupiter, the king and father of the gods and men,
in the act of hurling a thunderbolt. The
figure of Jupiter was so […] popular, exciting, and instructive—that its
inventors at once believed it, and they feared, revered, and worshipped Jupiter
in frightful religions
–New
Science, 379
Part 2 (60%)
Using
Aeschylus’s The Oresteia and either Jung or Vico, write a unified essay
of 800 to 1500 words (3 to 5 pages) on one of the following two themes. You must use Aeschylus in your essay and one
of the other two remaining authors. Do
not write on all three authors.
1. Our authors all
advance a view of human history that contains a dividing line between the orderly
march of civilization and the chaos of prehistory. They consider a set of assumptions,
institutions, psychological states, and divine beings to be representative of
“new” things, and another set to be representative of “old” things. Old things, however, never seem to fade away
completely, and new things never seem as dominant or enduring as some would
like. What do the interplay and conflict
between old and new things in myth as we receive them tell us about the most
important things to human beings? How do
our authors reconcile the conflict between our modern rationality and our
ancient passions? What is the role of
myth in this conflict? Does it
ameliorate the fury, or does it merely exacerbate an irreconcilable
problem? Is it in fact a problem at all,
or do the existence and vitality of myth show that old and new things are
equally necessary for the realization of a fully human person and a fully human
society?
2. One can do worse
for a definition of myth than to say it is a combination or nexus of religion
and poetry. Myth can be considered the
result of a basic human need for divinity combined with an equally basic human
need for expression. How do our authors
approach the question of how humans attempt to express what may be largely
inexpressible? How can we give voice to
a fundamental mystery while keeping that mystery a vital and useful part of our
humanity? What do the myths we have
studied tell us about the nature of these mysteries? What do they tell us about the nature of both
religion and poetry?
Avoid generalities.
Be as specific as possible, referring to specific parts of the text and
quoting passages when appropriate. Also
endeavor to develop a compelling thesis statement for your essay. Good
luck.
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