March 2, 2010

  • I said "fuck" and "n'est-ce pas" in the same sentence.

    Just seeing that there were people who commented on my last entry made me feel a lot better. I had sort of wondered if everyone would have unsubscribed from me by now or something. And just so you know, I've missed all of you too.

    So first, about the being sick thing:
    I've never been sick like that in all my life. It cost me thousands of dollars in lost work time and co-pays, and even after over 2 months, I still don't feel good. I had multiple (incredibly painful) recurring ear infections, sinus infections and bronchitis, and went through a zillion rounds of all kinds of medications to no avail. A couple of weeks ago I finally got in with a head/neck specialist (aka ear/nose/throat). They determined that:

    1. I had some hearing loss from the ear infections (which has since cleared up).
    2. I have a deviated septum.
    3. I have a polyp growing in my nose (due to lifelong allergies) which is blocking part of my nasal passage.
    4. I have acid reflux which is contributing to the sinus problems.

    The plans:

    1. Aggressive treatment with medication (6 pills of heavy-duty antibiotics a day for 3 weeks, nightly sinus rinses (the neti pot thing...ew), nasal spray 2x/day, steroids to open the nasal passages, plus Mucinex and the real Sudafed when needed), a cool mist humidifier at night, sleeping at a 30 degree angle for easier drainage (again, ew), avoiding spicy foods, dairy, etc.
    2. I have a CT scan on Monday to assess the situation in my sinuses and determine if I will need surgery to correct my deviated septum and remove the polyp.
    3. I also am getting a full allergy test next Wednesday to determine if I have any new allergies, etc.

    I'll keep you guys posted, especially if I have to have surgery. It sounds awful, but I'm willing to do just about ANYTHING to feel better again. I can't remember the last time I woke up and didn't feel dry-mouthy, eye-watery, sore-throaty, stuffed nosey, coughy, achey, upset stomachey, and sleepy from same.

    About therapy:
    I'm feeling very helpless in life, and like there isn't much going on that I can control. I'm sick and I can't control that. Work is crazy because of the budget cuts, bad economy, furlough days, extra work for less pay, etc., and I can't control that. I'm in the middle of some extra-challenging midterms and I can't control that. I *can* control how I spend my time, to an extent, and since therapy feels more like a burden (the money, having to leave work early, leaving the appointment feeling wrecked all the time) than something helpful, I'm going to take a break. Things are also up in the air with my therapist. She may be moving to a different clinic or she may not, but the only days she is available at a time that really works for me are the days I have my class on campus. I may just wait it out until the end of the semester and go back. I don't feel the same rapport with her as I did with my other therapist, but I do feel like I've accomplished more with her than my other one. We'll see what happens in a few months.

    About friends:
    I know I never filled anybody in completely on what happened with me and my group of friends basically dissolving, so I'll post about that soon. I've been avoiding it for a long time because it hurts a lot. I know that I need to get it out, though. It will help me finish grieving and move on. I have other friends that I really love though, so I'm doing ok. Nick has always been there, and now I have Jennifer and Ashley and Robert, and Greg and Paige, plus some other cool people that I like but don't get to see as often, like Jeff (the good one), Erik, Markus, etc. Count 'em! That's 9 people, and only 5 are gay, which in the world of me is pretty incredible.

    I think that's all I've got in me for today. It's time to pack up, go home, and work like crazy on my midterm for my Myth, Symbol & Allusion class. Btw, here's the assignment (I bolded the topics I chose). Difficult as fuck, n'est-ce pas?



    Myth, Symbol, and Allusion

    ENG 3440, Sec. 004

    Midterm Exam, due March 3

     

    Notice: Your exam must be submitted in two formats: A
    paper copy is due in class, and an electronic copy must be submitted to SafeAssign.  Your exam will not be graded unless it is
    submitted in both formats.

     

    Part 1 (40%)

                Choose two
    passages by two different authors from the ten below.  In 300 to 400 words (1 page), explore the
    relationship the passage has to the purposes, practices, and origins of
    myth.  Concentrate on the specific contributions
    each author makes to the understanding of the meanings of individual myths, and
    the machinery of mythological functions. 
    It is not necessary for you to reproduce the arguments discussed in
    class.  Try to consider the works with
    freshness and imagination while building defensible interpretations.  Feel free to expand the selections within the
    scope of the individual work.  Refer to
    Aeschylus by play and line number.  Refer
    to Jung and Vico by paragraph number. 
    Part 1 requires two separate responses.

     

    1.  No slave’s death,
    I think

    no stealthier than the death he dealt

    our house and the offspring of our loins,

        Iphigeneia, girl
    of tears.

    Act for act, wound for wound!

    Never exult in Hades, swordsman,

    here you are repaid. 
    By the sword

    you did your work and by the sword you die.

                                        –Agamemnon,
    1551-8

     

    2.  You, you younger
    gods! —you have ridden down

        the ancient laws,
    wrenched them from my grasp—

    and I robbed of my birthright, suffering, great with wrath,

        I loose my poison
    over the soil, aieee! —

                                        –The
    Eumenides, 792-5

     

    3.  But how do we
    assign meaning?  The forms we use for
    assigning meaning are historical categories that reach back into the mists of
    time—a fact we do not take sufficiently into account.  Interpretations make use of certain
    linguistic matrices that are themselves derived from primordial images.  From whatever side we approach this question,
    everywhere we find ourselves confronted with the history of language, with
    images and motifs that lead straight back to the primitive wonder-world.

                                        The
    Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, 67

     

    4.  Again and again I
    encounter the mistaken notion that an archetype is determined in regard to its
    content, in other words that it is a kind of unconscious idea (if such an
    expression be admissible).  It is
    necessary to point out once more that archetypes are not determined as regards
    their content, but only as regards their form and then only to a very limited
    degree.  A primordial image is determined
    as to its content only when it has become conscious and is therefore filled out
    with the material of conscious experience.

                                        –The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, 155

     

    5.  The archetype is
    really far less a scientific problem than an urgent question of psychic
    hygiene.  Even if all proofs of the
    existence of archetypes were lacking, and all the clever people in the world
    succeeded in convincing us that such a thing could not possibly exist, we would
    have to invent them forthwith in order to keep our highest and most important
    values from disappearing into the unconscious. 
    For when these fall into the unconscious the whole elemental force of
    the original experience is lost.

                                        –The
    Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, 173

     

    6.  Thus, the living
    effect of myth is experienced when a higher consciousness, rejoicing in its
    freedom and independence, is confronted by the autonomy of a mythological
    figure and yet cannot flee from its fascination, but must pay tribute to the
    overwhelming impression.  The figure
    works, because secretly it participates in the observer’s psyche and appears as
    its reflection, though it is not recognized as such.

                                        –The
    Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, 484

     

    7.  As for the
    principle of marriage, some believe that, when free men and women engage in
    sexual relations without solemn matrimony, as sometimes happens in fact, they
    commit no wrong under the law of nature. 
    But all the nations of the world reprove this opinion as false by their
    civilized customs.  On the basis of these
    customs, they all celebrate marriage religiously, and thus define illicit
    relations as bestial sin, if in a minor degree.

                                        –New
    Science, 336

     

    8.  In their robust
    ignorance, the earliest people could create only by using their imagination,
    which was grossly physical.  Yet this
    very physicality made their creation wonderfully sublime, and this sublimity
    was so great and powerful that it excited their imaginations to ecstasy.  By virtue of this imaginative creation, they
    were called poets, which in Greek means creators.

                                        –New
    Science, 376

     

    9.  In northern Asia,
    we have already seen how the Scythian king Idanthyrsus used five physical
    objects as words to reply to Darius the Great, who had declared war on
    him.  […] 
    The five objects were a frog, a mouse, a bird, a plough, and a bow.

                                        –New
    Science, 435

     

    10.  In this manner,
    the first theological poets invented the first divine myth, which was the
    greatest myth ever invented: Jupiter, the king and father of the gods and men,
    in the act of hurling a thunderbolt.  The
    figure of Jupiter was so […] popular, exciting, and instructive—that its
    inventors at once believed it, and they feared, revered, and worshipped Jupiter
    in frightful religions

                                        –New
    Science, 379

     

    Part 2 (60%)

                Using
    Aeschylus’s The Oresteia and either Jung or Vico, write a unified essay
    of 800 to 1500 words (3 to 5 pages) on one of the following two themes.  You must use Aeschylus in your essay and one
    of the other two remaining authors.  Do
    not write on all three authors.

     

    1.  Our authors all
    advance a view of human history that contains a dividing line between the orderly
    march of civilization and the chaos of prehistory.  They consider a set of assumptions,
    institutions, psychological states, and divine beings to be representative of
    “new” things, and another set to be representative of “old” things.  Old things, however, never seem to fade away
    completely, and new things never seem as dominant or enduring as some would
    like.  What do the interplay and conflict
    between old and new things in myth as we receive them tell us about the most
    important things to human beings?  How do
    our authors reconcile the conflict between our modern rationality and our
    ancient passions?  What is the role of
    myth in this conflict?  Does it
    ameliorate the fury, or does it merely exacerbate an irreconcilable
    problem?  Is it in fact a problem at all,
    or do the existence and vitality of myth show that old and new things are
    equally necessary for the realization of a fully human person and a fully human
    society?

     

    2.  One can do worse
    for a definition of myth than to say it is a combination or nexus of religion
    and poetry.  Myth can be considered the
    result of a basic human need for divinity combined with an equally basic human
    need for expression.  How do our authors
    approach the question of how humans attempt to express what may be largely
    inexpressible?  How can we give voice to
    a fundamental mystery while keeping that mystery a vital and useful part of our
    humanity?  What do the myths we have
    studied tell us about the nature of these mysteries?  What do they tell us about the nature of both
    religion and poetry?

     

    Avoid generalities. 
    Be as specific as possible, referring to specific parts of the text and
    quoting passages when appropriate.  Also
    endeavor to develop a compelling thesis statement for your essay.   Good
    luck.

March 1, 2010

  • Too much cereal, not enough marshmallows...

    I've been sick for over 2 months, which is all of 2010. I'd say that puts this year in the minus column so far.

    It seems like I've been gone from Xanga so long that it's almost wrong that I'm trying to come back now. But I'm at a low point and am breaking from therapy for awhile so I'm going to need an outlet.

    I'll write more later but right now my tummy hurts from too much Lucky Charms and I'm tired and crampy and sad.

    How's 2010 treating YOU?

January 3, 2010

  • Resolutions

    In the past, my New Year's resolutions have been a little vague and not very measurable, like "don't cheat yourself out of happiness" or "infuse more positivity in my life". This year, the list will be short, sweet, and will include things that are both measurable and possible to accomplish. Go me.

    1. Read the entire Bible
      It will be helpful as a Lit major, and it's such a huge part of our culture. I don't want to be ignorant of something just because I don't agree with what it's all about. My dad is getting me the Daily Walk Bible, and I will read a few pages every day for the next year until I'm done.
    2. Let go of the past
      It hurts that my friendships with Ron, Jerry and Jeff crumbled, it really does. But it's time to make sure I've properly grieved, and then put all of that away for good. 
    3. Prepare yourself for your future career
      I've decided I want to get into copy editing when I'm done with school. Can you picture me getting to read books (and then correcting them) for a living? I can. I'm going to memorize the APA and Chicago formatting manuals, learn Quark, take some classes at D.U. that are right up this alley, find an internship, and make as many contacts as I can. This may stretch over a few years, but I want to get going on it now so that I can get into a great job when I graduate.
    4. Stay committed to therapy
      I want to stick with it, be as open and honest as I can, and work hard on getting through my issues. They will not conquer me, they do not own me, and they do not define me.
    5. Spend money more wisely
      I live much more extravagantly than I need to, and I'd like to stop. Spend less, save more, stop requesting more student loan money than I need (which will bite me in the ass later).
    6. Honor my body
      I need to be kinder to myself and treat my body with respect and not punishment. This means making a commitment to not fill it with junk, to be active and not sedentary, and to respect my own limits.

December 29, 2009

  • Official Shelly100 Year in Review

    Here it is, a look back at the last 12 months. I guarantee fun and rainbows and babies and an awesome credit score to those who read the whole thing.*

    *Just kidding. Who can guarantee something like that? Sheesh.

    JANUARY

    • Got addicted to the dice game Farkel.
    • Bought a
      guitar (which I have yet to do much with).
    • Game night with Nick, Jeff, Erik & Dimitri. A quote from my blog entry about that night: "Lots of orphans jacking off the devil, giant penises, poop, vaginas with teeth, man tits, and pretty much anything disgusting you can think of in between"
    • Watched, and filmed a reaction video to, the now-infamous Cake Farts video.
    • Saw the Broadway play The Color Purple, which was pretty much the last dying gasp of my friendship with Jerry and Jeff. 
    • Obama was elected President. Even better, we finally got to say good riddance to George W. Bush!!!
    • Had a long bout with insomnia, and began making multiple middle of the night calls to my work voicemail with to-do lists for myself.
    • Got sick, and named the lump in my throat "Lumpy McHurtsalot". Jennifer wrote haiku dedicated to it.

    Photo o' the Month:
    DSCN533333333
     

    FEBRUARY

    • My mom's cat Chloe died. Sad.
    • Ron was in the hospital all the damn time.
    • Between that and some heavy stuff in therapy, I didn't post much. I couldn't.
    • Developed a crush on a coworker. A really, really big crush. And he's married. And has twin girls. Ugh.
    • Worked hard in school and at work. This was basically a quiet month.

    Photo o' the Month:
    DSCN5204
    Chloe


    MARCH

    • Started going crazy from my CIS class, and especially from words like"structured problem solving" and "implementation model".
    • Received a passive aggressive note from a neighbor...and submitted it to www.passiveaggressivenotes.com
    • Became totally obsessed with Robert Pattinson, and even drew some fan art. Ha.
    • Spring Break.
    • My first experience with drag queen bingo
    • St. Patty's Day
    • Started my Etsy store, Vintagey Goodness, and posted some vintage jewelry to sell. I've sold a few things, but since I don't have tons of time, I haven't been able to post many items.
    • Made t-shirts over at Robert's house with Jennifer. Mine said "Sister Suffragette", and would have been awesome, except I was stoned so the lettering was up WAY too high.
    • Snow!
    • Had my 8-year Xangaversary.
    • Started reaching my limit with dealing with Ron's illness.

    Photo o' the Month:
    380455587_1314350271_0

    APRIL

    • Did a super long 8-year Xangaversary post.
    • 4:20!
    • My cousin Ashlin Rose was born.
    • Had a major meltdown over my CIS class and all the Java I had to learn. 

    Photo o' the Month:
    389178846_1346251170_0
    Pancake fail!

    MAY

    • My CIS final nearly killed me from the stress and anxiety I put on myself. I got the first B I have ever gotten in college, and I was torn between being grateful I even got *that* grade, and horrified that I got less than an A.
    • Saw a baby cow 15 minutes after it was born in my grandpa's barn.
    • I had my second annual Memorial Day BBQ. It rained us out, so Greg fried hamburgers on the stove for us instead, and we all hunt out on my patio. It got COLD, too!
    • Saw Paramore and No Doubt in concert, and it was AWESOME. I missed The Sounds though. Boo.
    • Ron moved to Texas, and it felt like the end of the world.

    Photo o' the Month:
    Memorial Day BBQ 5

    JUNE

    • Started posting on Xanga less and less. This has continued all year.
    • Went to an indoor football game with my dad, and we played - wait for it - the OMAHA BEEF. They have an all-male dance
      team called The Rumproasters. True fucking story.
    • Went through a lovely spell of vertigo.
    • Started making female friends, a trend which I've continued. I now have a nice set of them.
    • Gay Pride...and it was pretty fucking awful between being blown off by my old friends and having the disconnect between Ron and I being made very apparent. I felt...homeless. Friendless. Scared. I wanted to cling on to the closest group of gay men I knew and ask them to be my BFFs because it seriously felt like I'd never make new friends again. God that was awful.

    Photo o' the Month:
    4

    JULY

    • Put together a book club with some coworkers - the Unstoppable Brain-Craving Ninja Book Club (UBCNBC) - which never really got off the ground.
    • Started going to our company softball games to watch and cheer...and check out my hot coworker. Sigh.
    • Pedicures and mimosas with Jennifer. Heavenly! Flash flooding on our way home? Not so much!
    • 4th of July shenanigans with friends of Jennifer, and then with Nick and his family and friends. A great time was had by all.
    • Saw a psychedelic exhibit at the art museum and fell in love.
    • Friendship officially over with Ron. Email breakup. Nasty as hell.
    • Had a dinner/bowling party for my 28th (and golden) birthday. My bowling name was Veronica Nipples.
    • Jennifer had a white trash party, which was hilarious. Spray cheese, and Twinkies, and cheap beer, oh my!
    • Had my 5-year anniversary with my job, a real accomplishment for me.

    Photo o' the Month:
    Dinner at Racines - 7.25.09

    AUGUST

    • John Hughes died.
    • Unpaid furlough days began at work, the first of a series that will no doubt continue, in addition to pay cuts and other crappy things down the road.
    • Started spring semester at school.
    • Saw my "guilty pleasure" concert: Blink 182 and Weezer.
    • Saw Melissa Etheridge live - for free - at NewWestFest with my dad.
    • Posted only twice the entire month.

    Photo o' the Month:
    408091226_1414323418_0
    My dad's foot compared to his bronzed baby shoe.

    SEPTEMBER

    • Had the best meal of my entire LIFE at Robert and Ashley's house. The cheesiest fondue ever
      with big hunks of broccoli (just barely blanched) and asiago garlic
      bread, Greek marinade roast chicken (so moist and flavorful
      I can't even tell you) with homemade naan bread (warm, fragrant, full
      of love), creamy tzatziki sauce, and Greek pasta with tons of dill,
      delicious big chunks of feta and giant olives. Omg yes.
    • Bought a bunch of new clothes, and did a bunch of "look at me! look at me!" fashion posts.
    • Freaked out badly all this month and in October about a required oral presentation.
    • Found out my therapist was retiring in November, which completely sucked.
    • Spent a lot of time away from home, with family.

    Photo o' the Month:
    437550058_1521524856_0

    OCTOBER

    • Found out my great-grandfather was gravely ill. He made it to his 100th birthday, and has since recovered enough to be considered "ok," but at the time it was devastating. I cried harder than I've ever cried when I thought he was dying.
    • My mom got H1N1. Shudder.
    • I started getting my period every 3 weeks instead of every 4 (probably due to stress). This is still going on.
    • Finally did my oral presentation for my Women & the Law class, which was the biggest relief EVER (especially since I rocked it). I literally felt like after accomplishing that, I could do ANYTHING.
    • Got a shitty-ass text message from Jerry with a picture of Ron in a
      hospital bed, with a guilt trip message about how he needs me. I didn't
      even know he was in town, or which hospital he was at, and hadn't heard
      from either of them in months. That really fucked me up for awhile.
    • Carved pumpkins and ate toasted pumpkin seeds and went to parties and a zombie crawl and did all kinds of Halloweeny things.
    • Snow!

    Photo o' the Month:
    452742026_1578488579_0

    NOVEMBER

    • Decided on my spring 2010 classes: Myth, Symbol & Illusion, and Women of Color
    • Finalized my kick-ass research paper on barriers to education for South African girls. Got in touch with a S.A. teacher who really made my paper even more credible and awesome.
    • Started following the health care reform debacle, and pretty much got pissed off every time I heard something new about it.
    • Never got that last appointment with my therapist, because she had an unexpected illness and basically retired 2 weeks earlier than she had planned. It really bummed me out.
    • New Moon came out, and I saw it (between Nov and Dec) 10 times. In the theater. Yes, I did.
    • Took a 9-day staycation over Thanksgiving, and while I didn't accomplish as much as I wanted to, I had a lot of time to be social with friends, see my family, and enjoy life without work or school looming over my head.
    • Read a lot. Watched a LOT of movies.
    • My mom spent the night at my house one night, slumber party style. Kind of weird, but at least not awkward. I had a pretty nice time.
    • Started feeling happier after taking St. John's Wort, and also having a Bach's Essences treatment for my alternative medicine class. Not sure which (if either) gets the credit.
    • Got on the same menstrual cycle as my BFF Jennifer. We share a cubicle 40 hours a week, plus spend time together outside of work, so I suppose it was bound to happen. Women's bodies are pretty amazing that way.
    • Met my new therapist, who has actually ended up being pretty cool, although very different than my old one.

    Photo o' the Month:
    100_0805
    Ashlin loves meat, apparently.

    DECEMBER

    • Didn't do so well with posting on Xanga, so I supplemented with some photo entries.
    • Decorated my apartment, including my little palm tree, Charlie Brown-style.
    • Studied my ass off for finals, and actually made it through. I ended up with an A in BOTH classes, which is amazing. I really wasn't sure about the Women & the Law class at all. Phew!
    • Pretty much ran myself ragged with social events, including parties, cookie baking parties, cookie exchanges, potlucks, and seemingly endless "just because we can" hangout sessions. I love to be social, but my GOD it's exhausting. I could never keep up with the Joneses.
    • Didn't finish my shopping until a day or two before Christmas, which is so unlike me, especially since I started shopping in October.
    • Christmas, for the most part, sucked ass.
    • New Year's Eve will be with the fam this year, so hopefully no drama.
    • The end.

    Photo o' the Month:
    DSCN5636

    TO SUM UP:
    I'm not sure that this entry captured the despair I felt for so much of 2009. It was a time of change and loss for me, and things like that can be difficult and painful. However, things are getting better for me now, with some new friends and with progress, bit by bit, in therapy. I hope to see more moving forward in 2010, and most of all, I want to let go of all the crappy stuff from 2009.

    I have a resolutions post coming soon!

December 25, 2009

  • Merry Fucking Christmas

    This Christmas has really sucked. There, I said it.

    I got in a big fight with my mother on the 23rd because I mentioned my dad and she freaked out on me. Basically it boils down to the fact that my dad hurt her a lot in their marriage - ruined her life, as she says - and that she doesn't want me to talk about him around her. If I had known that she felt that way, the whole thing could have been avoided. It sucks that after almost 11 years, she is just NOW getting furious about things, just when my relationship with my dad is getting really good and solid. Now my relationship with her is rockier than ever.

    Then, on Christmas Eve, another big fight with my sister, mom and I. My sister pitched a fit for an incredibly stupid reason. I offered her the Wal-Mart gift card I got from my Aunt (I do NOT shop there). She started mimicking what I said in a snotty voice, and then when I told her I have my beliefs and there is nothing wrong with that, she turned into a raging bitch. Meanwhile, my mother alternated between being pissed off, trying to de-escalate the situation, and crying, saying she had looked forward to this evening for weeks and now it was ruined yet again. I alternated between fighting back and sitting there in impotent rage. My sister stomped out after picking a nasty screaming fight with her boyfriend, and when she came back, things weren't much better, so I opened the wine, hoping everyone would chill the fuck out. Eventually things calmed down, but I left feeling drained and sick with the bad emotions that were still stuck in my body.

    Today I woke up early to go visit my great-grandfather for Christmas, but apparently he's having a bad (sick) day, and thought Christmas was tomorrow, so we aren't going. I'm waiting until my mom and sister wake up so we can have brunch together and open our gifts. I feel sick inside right now from anxiety, so I hope there is no more fighting today. Please god let there be no more fighting.

    I still have my mom and sister to face, and my bitchy grandmother who never fails to make comments that make me feel like shit whenever I see her. So...wish me luck.

    I sincerely wish everyone else's Christmas is going better than mine, and that you are enjoying your friends and family or whoever you are with this year.

    *deep breaths*

    I can do this.

December 22, 2009

  • Pre-Christmas Update

    It may seem dead around my Xanga site, but I have 2 posts ready to be published as soon as December is over. One is my annual Year in Review post, and the other is a list of my New Year's resolutions. I'm psyched to post them!

    As of 5pm today, I am on Christmas vacation. Five whole days off, yay! I'll be helping with a lot of the Christmas Eve dinner this year, because my mom will be working half the day and she won't be home to cook. I've done something really nice for myself this time around, and have made the decision to only go to 2 places instead of 4 or 5 like I usually do. I'll see my mom and her family on Christmas Eve, and my dad and his family on Christmas, and that's it. The next day I'll come home and see some friends, and then Sunday I'll have ALL TO MYSELF. Omg yes.

    Stuff I'm considering for our Christmas Eve menu (we will have ham, pork loin, AND turkey, apparently!):

    That's all I have for now. I'm sure I'll have a Christmas photo post sometime soon.

    P.S. It's going to snow the next couple of days. We will have a white Christmas!!!

December 11, 2009

  • I Survived, and Other Musings

    • I made it through finals, and all in all, I think I did well. Final grades are available online next Friday. I'm tempted to make a t-shirt that says "I survived Women & the Law, Fall 2009". I'm betting a LOT of people in that class would wear them. Getting through is like a damn badge of honor. May I suggest not taking courses co-taught by a hard-ass judge and an immigration lawyer? Just a suggestion.
    • It's that time of the month, and I'm doubled over in cramps and swelled up with bloating, and bleeding a lot, and it sucks.
    • The next few weeks are going to be BUSY with holiday celebrations/preparations:
      • Today is our company Christmas party (they are catering in Italian food), and everyone is bringing gifts for the Adopt A Family program I coordinated, which means I'll have to go drop them off afterward. It's a great feeling to be helping out people who really need it, but since I'm feeling a little less than human, I'm not thrilled about running extra errands today.
      • Tonight I'm driving to Loveland to spend the weekend at my grandma's house.
      • Tomorrow I'm going to visit my dad, who is recovering from hernia surgery. He's been feeling a little stir crazy, so maybe I can get him to take a walk around the block or we can go out for coffee or something. After that, I'm going to a cousin's wife's birthday party (she's also a friend; this isn't a family obligation kind of thing). She wants to go out to dinner and then see...you guessed it...New Moon. Which will be my 10th time seeing it. And I totally don't mind.
      • Sunday is the annual Christmas Cookie Baking Extravaganza! All of the women on my mom's side of the family who are available will meet at my grandma's and bake until we drop. Jennifer is driving down to meet us, too, so I'm excited. I consider her my best friend, so it will be nice for my family to meet her. She and I have a LOT of baking to do (at the very least, 6 batches of 1 dozen cookies), because...
      • ...on Monday, we are doing a cookie exchange at work. We have to put together 12 packages of 6 cookies each, and then we will take home 12 different kinds of cookies. I really don't know why I'm doing this, except it sounds fun. Wtf will I do with 72 cookies? I guess I'll be sharing the majority of them. 
      • Tuesday is the Defenders of Wildlife holiday party that Jennifer invited me to at the Wynkoop Brewery. Free food and drink, yay!
      • Wednesday we are having a holiday potluck, so I'll have to bring something. Fudge is probably what I'm going for; it's fast and easy, and people LOVE it.
      • Friday the other Admins and myself will be going out to a long lunch to celebrate our hard work over the year.
      • Saturday I have to go up north again to attend a "slumber party," aka sex toy party. I've been to a million of them, but my cousin's wife is a new wife and mother, and wants to try things out, so I'm supporting her.
      • On 12/23 after work, I'll drive down to Loveland again for Christmas. I have Christmas Eve and Christmas day off, and I am NOT going to rush around to 5 different families during those two days like I usually do. I'm putting my foot down, and having a relaxing Christmas this year. I'll see my mom/her family and my dad/his family, but those are the only stops.
      • I have New Year's Eve and New Year's day off, but am not sure yet what I'm doing.
    • Somewhere in there I need to finish up my Christmas shopping and get everything wrapped! Ack!
    • Now I need to waste about an hour before I can leave for that holiday party. Hmm. Facebook Scrabble it is. Ta!

December 7, 2009

  • Christmas at Shelly's House

    It isn't truly Christmas to me until I hear Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song", but it's getting close. I have lights up, gifts wrapped, and tonight I am starting my decorating.

    DSCN5613
    I decided not to do a tree this year, but I felt a bit sad about that, so, voila! My Charlie Brown Christmas (palm) tree. A little sad, but that's why I like it.

    DSCN5620
    This is a little hard to see (my camera freaks out if I try to take a shot of anything too close-up...wtf), but there's a mini cross-stitched Michelle stocking, my very first Christmas ornament (it says Baby's First Christmas 1981), and an egg shell I hand painted with holly (it says Michelle 1989).

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    Fudge. Mmm.

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    The big red ornament wreath on my front door. I love it.

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    It isn't Christmas without Hershey's Kisses in red, green, and silver in my candy dish.

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    It's snowing again. Ahhh. I love Christmas time.

December 5, 2009

  • Beauty

    The sunrise this morning was glorious. So glorious that I stood in the freezing cold in my nightgown to snap this photo. I think it was worth it.

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December 3, 2009

  • Waiting For the Pasta to Boil

    Waiting for the pasta to boil, I look at the things around me. Things, but me, a part of myself. It isn't just stuff. It isn't p.c. to say that anymore. I don't care. I look down, and the boiling water steams up my face, warming it at first, and then cooling it as I turn away. It feels good.

    December 09 001
    The bananas that will be ready for banana bread in a week or so. The wine my dad and I made the last Christmas before his marriage fell apart. The applesauce, regular and cinnamon, that my grandmother made for me with her own first crop of apples. The little thrift store jars like the one I admired at my great-aunt's house. She sent me some in cute shapes to make me smile.

    December 09 004
    My fridge. It has postcards from Florida and Texas, magnets from Las Vegas, Hawaii, and Forks, Washington. Family photos. My great-grandfather's 100 birthday announcement, filled with complete lies by my great-aunt but published anyway. My empty shopping list that should be full. Things that make me smile or give me strength.

    December 09 005
    The dried Hatch chili peppers my grandmother bought for me when she was in Texas. The advent calendar my mom bought me because I used to look forward to changing ours every day in December. A big pile of books, DVDs, and my newest issue of Bitch magazine.

    December 09 010
    My vintage, and in some cases antique, collection of glassware. My favorites are the tiny martini glasses with a wee little pitcher to mix them in. These are from my grandmother, and I love them.

    December 09 009
    The spice pots my mom handpainted in the '70s. A recipe box full of handwritten family recipes spanning 5 generations. And yes, some of those stupid jars filled with pickled peppers and other junk because someone I love gave them to me, and that means something, damnit.

    December 09 006
    At this point, the pasta has boiled, I'm in my pajamas and robe, and I'm happy to settle in for a warm meal and a warm bed.

    December 09 003
    I had to share my Christmas lights. Don't they sparkle and look pretty against the snow, the backdrop of the full moon sky and the lights of my neighbors, eight stories up?

    December 09 013
    Blurry, but happy. Yep.